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January 1

I love sappy motivational posters. I don’t know if it is the coach in me, or the optimist in me, or just that I find so many of them genius and wish I had come up with them myself.

This one today touched me in a way that blew me back a bit though.

Today is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.

There is a lot of unknown for me as I head into 2014. Within the next week, one of the following two statements will be true:

1)      I will still be employed with the same company, but will be making more money and have a defined career path that could lead to long-term professional success, more good stress than bad stress at work, and a determination to be a better father and husband at home.

2)      I will be semi-unemployed, making considerably less money, but at peace with that decision knowing that I will be making a small difference in the world on a day-to-day basis and determined to be a better father and husband who has a lot more energy to offer at home.

Last year was a very tough year for me personally and professionally.

I struggled with anxiety. I struggled to admit I needed help. I struggled to have energy at home to help out as much as I should have in the running of our household and the raising of our children. I struggled to thrive in my new position with a supervisor I just couldn’t connect with. I struggled with accepting a promotion and more responsibility while at the same time taking a pay cut. I struggled, so much more than I imagined I would, with having to resign as the Mountie girls’ tennis coach. I struggled knowing that I don’t see my closest friends as much as I’d like to, and I struggle with the fact that a lot of that is on me.

And then the two big ones, the “Granddaddies of Them All,” with all due respect to today’s game:

I struggled to be an understanding husband. I’m still struggling with the loss of my dad.

But…Today was the first blank page of a 365-page book and I am determined to write a good one.

Michigan State won the freakin’ Rose Bowl. I know sports fandom can be hard to understand, but this was overwhelmingly emotional for me and is about so much more than sports. My dad was an MSU grad who was at arguably the most famous game in the history of the school, the 10-10 tie with Notre Dame. He passed away in the week leading up to our only loss this season – yep, Notre Dame. My sister and I spent three years together at MSU, helping each other through a variety of ups and downs. We even took a few classes together.

Even my path to Michigan State had a familial effect. Initially, I decided to go to what I like to call “The Evil Empire.” 

Two reasons: I thought smart kids went to Michigan if they got in, and well, my dad worked in downtown Ann Arbor and it certainly couldn’t hurt to have him nearby. My dad seemed fine with the decision while my mom disowned me. 

But I don’t think my dad was as okay with the decision as he outwardly showed. He kept calling the MSU admissions people, and the salesman in him eventually garnered me a full scholarship for my freshman year. SOLD. My heart always wanted me at Michigan State anyway.

(Don’t tell anyone that I used some of my extra scholarship money to take a trip to the 1998 Rose Bowl featuring, yes, “The Evil Empire.”)

I love Michigan State. Just walking on that campus makes me smile. I am so proud to be a Spartan. I am even proud that a personal tour I gave to one of my tennis players, along with my speech on “There’s a lot of smart kids at Michigan State too” might have been the deciding factor in her changing her mind from UM to MSU as well.

So yeah, Michigan State winning the Rose Bowl for the first time since I was 8, is a BFD. You figure that out. Or ask Joe Biden.

Today was also about spending time with the family – from Dede being willing to trudge out in the snow to take a picture of my silly game-day tailgating to Bode and I making faces at each other for no reason to “scolding” Gavin for not wearing any State gear.

And as this day ends and the rest of the year begins, you know what I’m surprisingly not struggling with?

The fact that I don’t know which path 2014 will take me on one week from today. I’m fine either way.

Because my wife and kids love me. Because my friends and family support me through thick and thin. Because I find help now when I need it. Because I have faith that God has a plan for me even if I haven't figured it out yet. Because…well, Michigan State has a lot of talent returning on offense next year.

And because I want to write one hell of a book this year.